Watson & Holmes

Detektiv Ajensy

Jonathan Watson
Detective Holmes
Molly
Aunt Fanny
Artie Moriarti

Excerpt from Watson & Holmes Detektiv Ajensy

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WATSON

This is my night job. I’m a Private Eye.

MOLLY

A detective? How for-chewy-us.

WATSON

What do you mean?

MOLLY

I mean, I have a case for you to solve.

WATSON

(Excited) A case?

(In his excitement, Watson knocks the stuffed fox off the table and it falls behind. Holmes pops up in its place, startling Molly.)

HOLMES

A case?

MOLLY

Oh my goodness, where did you come from.

WATSON

Don’t be afraid, Molly. This is my partner, Holmes.

HOLMES

Pleased to make your aquaintenance. Now, what’s this about a case?

MOLLY

I need you to find Polly.

HOLMES

Your parrot flew away?

MOLLY

No, I don’t have a parrot. Polly is my dolly. She’s missing.

(Watson and Holmes stand and move to the front of the stage out of earshot of Molly)

WATSON

We finally have a case.

HOLMES

A big case. So big, it needs a name.

WATSON

What do we call it?

HOLMES

The Case of Molly’s Dolly Polly… golly.

WATSON

Golly?

HOLMES

Sorry, I’m just surprised that we have a case.

(They return to Molly)

WATSON

We will take your case.

MOLLY

Oh, thank you. I miss her so much.

HOLMES

We are going to have to ask you a few questions first.

MOLLY

Go ahead.

HOLMES

If a train is travelling east at 96 kilometers per hour at 6:45 on a Monday morning, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he had three nickels, 2 pennies and a quarter?

WATSON

Holmes, I don’t think—

MOLLY

Hang on. That’s a trick question.

WATSON

How so?

MOLLY

The train is travelling east, which means as soon as they reach the Saskatchewan border they lose an hour. That makes it 7:45, not 6:45. Now, if you stopped there, taking into account location and time of day, the answer would be 42, equal to the sum of the coins in his pocket. But you said three nickels, 2 pennies and a quarter. Everyone knows that pennies are no longer legal tender in Canada, which means he only has 40 cents. 40 cents doesn’t go far in this economy, so the answer is zero.

(They are dumbfounded)

HOLMES

Oh, she’s good.